Building that bond….how Intended Parents act with surrogates

Speaking with IP’s (Intended Parents) and surrogates alike–as well as taking from my own personal experiences–there are two types of relationships that IPs tend to cultivate with their surrogates: familial and business.

The familial is how it sounds. The IPs welcome the surrogate into their lives with open arms, believing that this woman is giving them the greatest gift of all. The hope is for a continued relationship with her after the child is born. Often, this is displayed as going out to dinner together, bringing her and her family gifts and showing other signs of their appreciation. After delivery, they tend to send pictures and email updates to their surrogate mother. Throughout the years they may even visit, forming a continuous bond made for life.

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In the second situation, the IPs believe they are reimbursing the surrogate for services rendered concluding with the birth of their child. The road to becoming parents has been so difficult for them that they do not wish to have anything possibly hinder them in their endeavor. The surrogate is a necessity, but not necessarily an extended part of their family or someone they wish to stay in contact with. Some may not even wish to tell their children how they were conceived, due to personal reasons.

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Both of these views are completely understandable and should be acceptable to anyone choosing to become a surrogate. However, both types of IP’s have been known to switch sides during or right after their journey. For most, the journey is uncharted territory and it is very difficult to know what your emotions will be like during each stage. Incredibly supportive IP’s have cut ties abruptly with surrogates once the baby is born and somewhat apprehensive ones have opened up and taken to their surrogate more than they expected.

What is really needed for the whole process to work is a calm understanding.  A surrogate needs to understand that the IPs have gone through more than they could imagine to get to this point; it’s only natural for them to be scared when they perceive that they are so close and yet still so far from their dreams. The IPs need to understand that the surrogate has chosen her role to help a family in need, knowing full well that the child is not hers.  She will go through many changes she’s experienced before, but this time there is a mix of altruism and the unknown that are present. Both sides need to be able to trust one another.

No company knows this better than Surrogate Alternatives.  Not only is this their trade, this is their passion. Filled with past and present surrogates and egg donors they understand the entire process from both sides. Their goal is to tailor each surrogacy to each person’s expectations. They know how to match IP’s with the right kind of surrogate so that trust and understanding can thrive.  No matter the family dynamic, they strive to give 100% of their time, effort and experience into each arrangement so that a healthy, happy baby (or two) may be born into a loving family. Every one of them fits a heart shape.

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About Surrogate Alternatives, Inc.

Established in 1998, Surrogate Alternatives has been in business longer then any other Surrogate or Egg Donation Agency in San Diego, California, thus providing a long standing reputation for being a leader in third-party reproduction. At Surrogate Alternatives, we believe that it takes a village to raise a child and sometimes takes a village to create one too! Our staff have the compassion and dedication necessary to give you peace of mind, hope and belief, that the chance to become a parent is within your reach. We understand how difficult the road has been to get to this point and our job is to make the rest of your journey as smooth as possible. Never give up on your dreams or feel alone, because when that happens you have lost the chance to succeed. We are here to show you that your dream of being a party is not just a dream, but can be your reality! We are proud to announce that as of the end of 2011, Surrogate Alternatives has been involved in the creation of over 750 babies and has assisted more then 1,200 people in their quest to parenthood. Connect with Diana Google Business Website

Posted on November 28, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. So true!! I personally struggled w/ this when my IP’s catered to me, befriended me and my family and then took their miracles and ran home to Hong Kong not to be heard from again. Who does that?!? And why?!?

    Can you send a copy of this article to my IP’s?? Lol. 😉

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